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Life. Thursday, March 24, 2011 // 9:53 PM
Ever have that someone that's always going to be special to you no matter what happens? No matter how many times they hurt you, walk out on you, say something stupid, make you upset, or even furious that you just can't let go? Yeah. That's you. Although you may not know it, its you, and always has been you. It's hard not to care about you. It's hard to say goodbye to you. At times I hate you, and at times I go crazy over you. It hurts to know that you're there, but only when you need me. But there's just that sensation of having you there that makes it worthwhile. The feeling you get when you finally chowed down on food after starving for hours. Satisfaction. It sometimes amazes me how long something like this can go for. Words were said, feelings were hurt, tears were shed, and for what? All for nothing. There's just something special there, and no matter how hard I try to let go, it doesn't happen. I promised myself several times that was the last straw, yet you somehow managed to win me over yet again. Oh the times I wanted to smack you upside down to knock some sense into you, or the times I just wanted to yell at you to understand where I was coming from. You'll never understand, and you never will until the day it hits you hard and you finally realize what I've been trying to tell you all this time, by that time it'll be just too late. I wish you didn't make things so complicated. I wish you didn't make me go crazy over you. I wish you would just tell me everything on your mind without me having to guess everything all the time. I just wish sometimes, you would make me smile by saying the simplest thing; you're beautiful. You sure don't make me feel like it. I sit and wonder sometimes why life can be so complicated yet so simple at the same time. Why is it that we chase after the wrong things, and ignore what's in front of us? Why don't we chose the simple road? Why do we always choose the path that's complicated, with bumps and dead ends? Is that how we're meant to live our lives? It got me thinking today. What do I really want out of life? What makes me happy? I guess that's just the way we were brought up to be. Always choose the more challenging road, ignore the easy parts of life. Make life a challenge. I guess its time just to sit and to wait it out, see what life brings me. If it wasn't for my friends, I possibly would have gone crazy by now. So thank you Priscilla for always being there for me, since I know you're going to read this. And thank you to anyone else for being a friend to me.
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